Musings of a GWoman
by SamBrace
Summary: Scully Musings of her life during a moment of depression


-1Title: Musing of a G-Woman

Author: Sam Brace

E-Mail: UST and Angst o'rama

Keywords: Angst o'rama

Pairing: Scully/Other past Scully/Mulder potential 

Date Posted: September 9, 2002

Rating: PG 13 (possible higher due to reference to sexual acts)

Archiving: Anywhere as long as you let me know where

Summary: Scully Musings of her life during a moment of depression

Author's notes: A BIG thank you to the girls from MSRFanficCheerleaders with whom i would not of thought to of posting this story and also a big thanks to Ro with whom i have found a friend who I can talk to when the chips are down thanks Hun. I would also like to dedicate this story to my Best Friend Hannah who I know will not be able to read this as she doesn't read FanFiction but I hope she does one day I would also like to thank my Mum and Dad for being there. Music that has inspired me but was not heard whilst I wrote this is EMINEM, The Calling, Moby and Dido and also I think as well Savage Garden warning this is not a song Fic.

Disclaimer: My underwear is co-ordinated Oh not that kind of Disclaimer well I don't own them so don't sue I could of used the original names making it so that I owned them but I don't not anymore.

Note: this has note been Beta read if anyone wishes to knock your self's out.

Scully's musings: It's simplistic the way things can turn out, you can have one good day from start to finish, you can have a good day that ends up crappie and you can have a bad day where as the day progresses it seems to be getting worse and worse, or you can have a shitty bad day where everything goes wrong from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep in defeat. Something is bothering me maybe it's all the lies I've woven over the years because I've been too lazy to do my work and I make excuses the worst thing is now I can't look people in the eye when I lie and my cheeks burn. Okay I managed to lie to Ed Jerse telling him what he wanted to hear so (1) he'd leave it be and (2) so I could have what I craved for Intermacy Something I've longed for since the end of my relationship with Daniel more than ten years ago, my first and last serious relationship. Sure I've seen four other people but the last three I ditched after the first few dates. The first guy I saw after Daniel was Jack Willis my instructor at the academy our relationship lasted a year until I called it off because in the terms I used 'it was wrong we shouldn't see each other anymore' I spend my time with him being Fucked I gave him head ONCE and I will do NEVER AGAIN (well unless it's Mulder no I will not think of Mulder like that) But what startled me was that he Eat out of me (once because I was nervous and dry as a bone ) and he seemed to like it But the one thing that I know I don't like is a Quickie and the fact that I never climaxed with him (EVER). It made me realize I can never have sex because I can't Climax either that or I'll have to find someone who will attend to my needs (also I think foreplay is needed, a porno may excite him but i need more than that I also like it hard I don't know why but I do) My God know wonders why I haven't had sex in so LONG I think I'm becoming a Nun (God help me I want to have sex but I want to have good sex maybe sex with Mulder okay I've got to stop that right now ) the most terrible thing has happened though I fancy this guy (okay you guessed it's Mulder and I think I'm falling in love with him) I flirt with him, I tease him and he is sssooo not interested in me he wants someone taller and blond/brunette and brown eyes as I refer to them 'Mulder's type'. I hate my body, I hate who I've become I wish he could see me as Dana Scully - A woman rather than Dana Scully - Partner I hate it I've got another headache coming on I feel myself dying slowly my body at least my mind has been going for years that's what the headaches are, My mind slowly slowly going I'm at the point of insanity and not much is there to stop me falling into Madness nothing other than Fox Mulder.

End

Thanks for reading any comments, Questions, random musings or anything send me a line at Thank you for surviving my story


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